Dating a guy on the rebound
I do understand your concern though about being a rebound. But let’s really look at what’s happening here: You’ve got two people who have been dating for a while.This is one of those conversations that I hear people talking about all the time. They’re used to each other, they expect the other one to be there and their day-to-day lifestyles are intertwined.Rebounding: a selfish, tumultuous practice that takes the phrase “the only way to get over someone, is to get under someone else,” all too literally. When it comes to rebounding, things often do not go well; chances are your rebound will quickly discover that you've been using him/her to “win the breakup,” and promptly alert social media to your actions with some colorful profanity.And while you may not feel you are using somebody, that pretty much comes with the territory.Chances are, you probably do have some real chemistry together.Still, the fact remains that if you get involved with someone who hasn’t worked out their issues, there’s a very good possibility that it will lead to a long, drawn-out, confusing roller-coaster of relationship drama that will not end pretty.
He’s not going to bring that stuff up with you, but he might feel that if he talks with his ex it might lead to some inner-resolution. 3) You risk turning into his scapegoat, quasi-therapist or shoulder-to-cry-on while he works out his issues.
Hate to be blunt, but that’s the most likely scenario if he has a lot of unresolved issues from his breakup (or baggage, or loose ends, or whatever you want to call it.) If you can manage to step back gracefully and give him lots of space to really, truly work out his stuff, maybe in a month or two he’ll have it completely worked out and you two can start something on a virtually clean slate.
You would have to be patient and really disciplined to give him that space, but it’s much much better than going through a relationship where you’re competing with the ghost of an ex.
I don’t mean to make this guy out to be a basket case, but if he was messed up from his break up, it’s a very good idea to stand back (far back) and let him work out his issues.
If something looks like it’s going to explode, it’s good to stand far away.
The bulk of the healing happened within the first month and a half (and probably would have happened quickly if I had just acknowledged that I needed time to work everything out in my head and lifestyle.) My point in all of this is that it’s up to the guy to work his issues out.